"Look at me" she said. "I would love to weigh as much as you" which for her would probably mean about losing 50 lbs. She went on to talk about how she used to weigh as much as I do and she was healthy and felt good then.
And that's the thing, at this weight I don't feel good or healthy. I feel dumpy, slow, and like I am not taking care of my body. The weight that I know I feel good at is about 30 pounds less. But for some girls, weighing 140 lbs would be huge. Even girls who are my height. There are girls my height who weigh 120. If I weighed 120 it wouldn't be good news because it would mean I must be sick. My family and friends would probably express a ton of concern. Every body is different and it's all about being where you are healthiest and happiest. If I felt comfortable at this weight I wouldn't care, but it's just not the best weight for me.
So while I appreciated the nurse trying to make me feel better, I just wanted to say, "I'm not saying that if you weighed this much you would be fat or gross, but it's fat and unhealthy for ME"
Some girls are bigger than others. Some girls' mothers are bigger than other girls' mothers. That's just all there is to it.
I know for me I can't wait to get back down to a weight where I feel healthy and good about myself and where I can fit into my old clothes.
I started off yesterday really good. I had a smoothie for breakfast which was only 5 pts and did 30 day shred in the am. I was working hard and sweating a ton. I planned to go swimming in the evening. Unfortunately my day got busy. I went to WW, then the doctor and then tanning and didn't have a chance to get anything to eat. By 5 pm I was starving and called Tim to see if he wanted to meet me in union square for dinner since he was just about off work.
He met me and I got a turkey burger and fries. I contemplated the grilled chicken breast with veggies, but caved because we were at Heartland Brewery and I love their fries. Even then I would have come in at 1.5 under my daily points. But I noticed that they opened up a Crumbs in Union Square....soooo....we went to get cupcakes. The cupcake was about 10 pts.
The train was crazy delayed so we didn't get home until about 7:30. I was full and tired and didn't feel like going swimming. Of course at 10 I was all pumped to go swimming....after the gym was closed. I then felt guilty and fat. Lesson for the future is to make sure I always have a snack. In my defense, there is absolutely nowhere to get food by the doctor except for some fancy bakery.
Today has been ok so far. I had some greek yogurt and fruit for lunch. Only coffee for breakfast. I got the South Beach Diet cookbook at the library so I might try a recipe from there for dinner. Also Jillian Michaels' Master Your Metabolism.
This week's weigh-in and pic after the jump
Weight: 171. Same as last weigh-in at WW
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